Well, I did it! Never in my wildest dreams did I think, four years ago today, that I would be living the life I am today. Drug free, clean and serene and happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I live my life, one day at a time. Just one day at a time, but to reach an annual milestone is such a huge accomplishment for me. That’s not to say that every day isn’t a struggle. Some days are better than others but I don’t ‘entertain’ those thoughts.
I won’t ever get rid of the addiction from my mind. It’s like a separate entity but I ‘starve’ it. I don’t weaken to it’s demands. When times are tough. When things aren’t going quite right. When I’ve had a shit day. There it is. Tempting me. Laughing. Saying “go on, just one cone – you’ll be right, it will make it all better”. I tell it to f(*^k off! It’s like my worst enemy some days but I persevere.
I’m not a religious person but I’m definitely a spiritual person and being clean has strengthened my spirituality. Some times I can’t believe my luck. I’ve got it so good now. A great place to live, a beautiful caring fiance, a fantastic job with great opportunities. I couldn’t get a break in my drug fuelled days. The whole universe seemed to be against me. Life just wasn’t worth living. I think by resisting temptation and enduring those really hard days, the universe is rewarding me with so many positive life experiences. Something I didn’t think would ever happen.
This time last year, as I approached the 3 year anniversary of my recovery from a 16 year addiction to marijuana, the universe threw everything it could at me. Somehow I got through it and here I am, another year on. I’d love it if the memory of addiction could be erased from my brain so I would never have to face temptation again but I know that’s not going to happen. Every day I will be reminded, and tempted, but every day I will get through it. I know I can do it. Nothing, no one, no how is going to beat me and jeopardise what I have in my life.
I’m not perfect. I am only human after all but there is no way I’m giving in to the beast that dwells inside me. It will never leave. I will live the life that I believe was intended for me. I will enjoy every minute. I will conquer my fears. I will fight my battles. I will never give up. I live just for today.
You are doing so well! Congratulations and good on you – you prove that there really is life after addiction.
Visiting today from #teamIBOT x
PS just read your about page and it clicked – say hi to your fiance for me!
Thanks Janet! Yes, that's right. You know my fiance. I might see you around the Redlands one day. Thanks very much for your kind words.
Damo
four years is amazing! Congratulations! I'm sure you inspire so many others in a similar place.
Thank you so much Jess. I hope so. So many people before me inspired me. I'm just passing it on.
Damo
Congratulations on making it 4 years! I know too well that little voice that whispers when things are going pear shaped. It's hard to get rid of negative coping mechanisms but it is so worth it!
Thanks so much Tegan. Yes, it can be a daily battle but so worth it when you persevere. Thanks for your kind words.
Damo
A Big CONGRATS to you Damo!! You should be so proud of yourself!! Here's to 4 more years…and 4 more…and…ok, you get my point!!
What an accomplishment!
Have an awesome day 😉
LOL Yes I do Bobbi. Thanks heaps! You have a great Easter!
Damo